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For all my shyness, I never found it very difficult to have conversations on a first date.
It isn’t that I gained confidence, I just planned ahead.
These two approaches worked very well together ensuring that (at least on first dates) there were never any awkward pauses.
The topics you choose should not solely be there to fill in empty space.
Your odds are good during the winter: According to Lauren O'Reilly of Ok Cupid, people tend to end relationships going into the holidays and want to start fresh in the new year."Everybody starts their New Year's resolution, and a lot of times it's: Get online or go out more, proactive stuff to really meet somebody," said Jess Mc Cann, author of "You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to 'I Do' — Secrets from One of America's Top Dating Coaches."Pressure from family members during the holidays or wishing they had someone to spend the holidays with encourages people. In her twenties or thirties, her inbox is going to be very full and she doesn’t have to initiate contact. As you get older, the men have a much wider selection of age ranges of women to pick from. _____ The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel. Jasbina Ahluwalia Julie, as a cyber-dating expert, what do you think of women initiating contact with men online? Julie Spira My thoughts are that, as a woman gets older, she needs to start initiating. They can just sit back and wait for the women to contact them. Julie Spira The man who you ended up with now, did you write to him or did he write to you? As soon as you make contact, you need to take a step back and let the man do the rest of the courtship. Jasbina Ahluwalia In your mind, especially for certain age groups, it’s beneficial for women to initiate the contact but, after doing so, to step back and let the men pursue. As a former practicing lawyer who also holds a graduate degree in philosophy, Jasbina can relate first-hand to the demands and challenges facing her accomplished clients. Koppel, you wrote, “I knew instinctively that I couldn’t sit back and wait for men to contact me. Most men, especially those of a certain age, don’t need to contact women. I tell women that it’s fine to select men that you’d like to write to. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira Listen to the entire interview on i Tunes _____ The uniqueness of Intersections Match comes from the life experiences of its Founder, Jasbina Ahluwalia.